monday

the jersey golden light of evening.

sandstorms, surfboards, and beach boys

so i guess no matter how much i deny it, jersey's in my blood. its said that you know you live by the shore when you cant ever seem to get the sand out from between your toes and you leave your hair looking windblown, because it starts to naturally fall that way. i never really believed that, because although i grew up 5 minutes from the bay to the west of us, and 5 to the ocean in the east, i rarely ventured to the ocean except late in the season when all the tourists went home. and that being said, i prefer not to leave my hair looking windblown. but today i couldnt get the thought of "sand between my toes" from my mind. maybe it was the lazy leona naess tunes playing on my ipod, or the frigid temperatures that made me long for summer...either way i started to miss the beach, windblown hair and all. theres nothing quite like the ocean crashing behind you, bare feet burning on scorched sand, riding a wave on a surfboard that you dont know how to navigate, lifeguards blowing their whistles, wildwood boardwalks famous "watch the tramcar please" and the taste of salt in the air to make you feel at home. at least in a jersey girls mind. maybe one day ill go back, maybe one day ill again call it home... but until then ill just dream about the ocean and try and be satisfied with frigid landlocked wilmore.

leesburg, nj

a car my dad and i found when we were rummaging around the old abandoned

whipco factory in leesburg, nj.

it is for freedom that christ has set us free

i take life way to seriously, but im finding freedom in the letting go

609

i went home (home is such a relative term) to south jersey for christmas and got into a bunch of abandoned homes/old factories etc. to photograph them. here's the old cranberry factory in belleplain nj. the walls were all covered in graffiti ... south jersey is often refered to "the 609" after our area code so this one was appropriate.

im gonna be putting up tons from the photoshoot with jordan/the abandoned house in wilmore as well as the ones i took from sj on my flickr, so check it out.

a conversation

Person I: Do you still like to photograph?
Person II: Yes. I love photography, but I don't really do it anymore.
Person I: Why?
Person II: Don't know. Maybe I got burnt out, maybe I'm just waiting, maybe its not what I'm supposed to do.
Person I: Well maybe you're in a season of waiting, maybe you're in the valley, maybe you don't have any idea what you're going to do for the rest of your life, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't photograph. Take advantage, take more photos than you can handle, what could it hurt if its what you love...like what else are you going to do.

maybe one day ill actually make money off this stuff,

but until then im just gonna shoot what i love.

jordan photo shoot

jordan photo shoot

in the hatfield abandoned home jordan and i conducted a photoshoot. unfortunantly on day II it was cut short and we were kicked out. here's one of our favorites...

alone

i never know what to write here

my lil cousin nicolas at thanksgiving

friday 10:01am

here's some more random photos from the 40 day photo journey.

z & his studio

check out the spider

steph and i carved really cool pumpkins at adam's house

chillin at the figg

some photos

well if you get a grade for the 40 day photo "challenge" then im pretty sure i get an "f." i kind of fell into mode where i would photograph but just didnt feel like writing anything, so i didn't put anything up. however this photographic journey as B and i decided to call it has caused me to look at life differently -through a the lense of a camera on a daily basis. and so here are some photos from the past few weeks in random order because i dont remember what day i took what. more to come...

melissa in the front yard

kip and melissa!

z's studio
my shoes!

another leaf photo

josh's parents/family were in town, so party at the kocak house!

today for now

"theres something powerful about silence. i dont know entirely what it is, but something of silence speaks louder than words. music for example, good music (in my opinion) often is comprised of instrumental (and sometimes electronically enhanced) melodic harmonies that vary and flow aesthetically from quiet rhythmic interludes to occasional explosions of chaotic organized sound. for example listen to "the long spring" by explosions in the sky. words arent neccesary to communicate and verify its meaning and existence. it just is. one might argue that music without words leaves it open to interpretation. (just like a painting without a description leaves it open to interpretation) but, i dont think thats neccesarily true. all music has an underlying tone- a beat a note a key -that gives the song a particular aire. it says something without really saying something and its heard the way its said no matter whose ears it reaches. another example if you know guitar tab strum this chord - 022032 - its simple but in its simplicity it still emits a sound of longing and sorrowful yearning. when i play it, my ears internally ache to hear the next sound in a progression, the completion of a pattern. 022032 is opened ended thats just the way it is and the emotion of sadness attached isnt really open to change. (of course the beat or manner in which the chord is strummed also plays a major part in which emotion is communicated) anyhow -that rant aside - i dont think ive realized until the past week how significant silence is. i havent really had words for anything, or anyone. not even to describe what i was feeling or what my days consisted of. i spent a lot of the week in silence not because i really wanted to, but because i had nothing to say. however in that silence the lord spoke very clearly to me in several different areas. and he didnt even speak in that "still small voice" as it is so often termed. he spoke to me in a way ive never really heard before. of just knowing (and maybe that is the "still small voice" who knows) ive havent been doing all that well lately and at first i was worried that i was falling into complacency and a worldly drunkeness (not literally alcohol) that i so often fade into. but really it wasnt any of that, really it wasnt anything to be worried about and i wasnt worried because through it i knew god was speaking to me. in that silence. i'd be at work listening to a co-worker talk about nothing in particular and i'd look at the clock and it would say 333 and god'd be like "i see you even when you dont see me" and it just threw me every time. that might sound creepy and yeah, it kind of makes me look insane, but really it was just an assurance of his peace of his presence that speaks louder than words -any words that this world could ever have. all that being said, in that time i was photographing in part, but not speaking or even thinking really, i was just being and didnt bother to put anything up. but tomorrow i will. peace."

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 25

the journey: day 25:

solomon's porch

melissa and i like to go study at coffee shops together. (okay im not actually studying, more reading or editing photos or the like) we went to solomons and grabbed some coffee/tea until the closed -sadly at 9pm -before we headed to the library porch. it rained today, and it was a lovely day filled with work, rest and play.

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 24

the journey: photo 24

h&h house

heidi and i went out to photograph an old abandoned house down the road. i dont know why i love photographing old rundown desolate subjects such as these, but i do. they're lonely - yet depicting that they once saw something better. i think theres something of hope still in them. if you want to see more of the h&h house, (name changed to protect location) check the flickr site periodically -im in the midst of creating an album.

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 23

Photo 23:

I Cut My Hair Today

Well it was about that time, my hair was pretty much out of control, so I decided to cut it today. It took awhile, cause I had to use mirrors and both sides of my brain (because I had to reverse directions and such in order to cut it properly) and it was rather exhausting. But I think it looks great, its pretty choppy which is perfect because it can look uneven on purpose now. I didnt take this photo, obviously, Melissa did, but I chose it because, well it pretty much sums up the majority of my day (that sounds shallow). No, actually I went to watch Born into Brothels (amazing movie) tonight with the Asbury Human Trafficking Awareness group and it was pretty sweet...as sweet as a movie can be of that type. No, but really this documentary is probably on of my favorites ever, so rent it please.

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 22

Photo 22:

Melissa's Desk

I was walking to my room, and I saw the sun shining through the blinds onto this lone flower. Sometimes the ordinary is really lovely if you look close enough. I should probably insert something else incredibly whitty and noteworthy here, but I don't really have anything else to say.

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 21

Photo 21:

"How Beautiful upon the Mountains are the Feet of Him

who Brings Good News, who Publishes Peace..."

Bethany and I went out to the Mansion to take some photographs together before she headed back to Pine Mountain, GA. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, and I could feel the nearness of God in that place. I love to photograph feet, and B was my standin. I was reminded of Isaiah 52 while taking this...this is what the Lord says about our feet. :)

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 20

Photo 20:

Some Thoughts on James

I spent some time today out on the seminary library's porch doing some journaling on James. It's a good book. Ranjo left his cereal bowl, and the light glimmering off the table "forced" me to pull out the ol' Nikon. (I know, I'm a traitor I've used a Cannon 35mm SLR for years...I don't know what I'm doing with a Nikon Digital...but its treated me well)

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 19

Photo 19:

Conversation

Bethany is back in Wilmore bringing again with her much joy, adventure, encouragement and conversation. This photo was taken while we were waiting for our Indian dish of tandoori chicken to finish marinating in the fridge. While we waited, we enjoyed some Ale8's and Kerala Vegatables on Pita Bread, all while conversing on our current photo a day/blogging adventure.

...more to come on thoughts about "conversation"

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 18

Photo 18:

Of Dreams

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 16 & 17

So, for two days I did not touch my camera. I know, I screwed up big time...but as Bethany and I disgussed this weekend, this isn't really a "challenge" its more a photo journey. These past two days remain photographically undocumented, but have not ceased to be eventful. Something that God spoke to me:

"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3

I've been learning that there are a lot of strongholds over my mind, lies that I've believed -about myself and God and others that just need to be broken, my way of thinking needs to be invaded by Gods way of seeing things. A part of the whole mind battle is dwelling on things that my mind doesn't need to be dwelling on, instead of taking every thought captive and surrending fully. Yeah, thats all I really have to say.

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 15

i couldnt decide which photo to use, so i broke the rules and put up two.

Photo 15:

Food and Fellowship

i love cutting cilantro! i think i have a slight obsession with it, really im not joking.

melissa and i kind of went overboard with the potatos, she just kept giving them to me and i just kept cutting them...she wouldnt stop, what was i to do?

Random Thought

If you watch anything long enough, you're bound to eventually see it in a different light, and ultimately get a better picture. Its kind of the same with Jesus. If you sit in his presence long enough, you can't help but be changed...it just happens. There's hope for me yet. On that note, I'm going to bed...and I look forward to taking a picture when the sun comes up. :)

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 14

This might be my favorite picture so far...

Photo 14: Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder

Jillian and I went out to shaker village to watch the sunset, and we found some horses.

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 13

Photo 13:

The City Sleeps...

This is what my street looks like at about 1am in the morning (ok so technically this was not taken on the 4th). Everything is still and silent, except for the crickets...its weird, I like it.

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 12

Photo 12:

Melissa

Melissa is my lovely roomate,

I took a few pictures of her before she went out with Justin

and a few friends for dinner. This is one of my favorites.

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 11

Photo 11:

sometimes you see dimly as in a mirror

I was out at figg yesterday, just thinking about some stuff. I'm an external processor, so I was just kind of thinking aloud, pretty sure I looked like an idiot. I always sort of thought that when Jesus sent revival, a great moving of his spirit, it would effect all flesh. I'm realizing this isn't neccesarily so. Yes, there are instances when ppl are just blown over by the power of God when they're not even expecting it, but theres also this resistance to the spirit...something I've never really thought about. It's sort of like an element of control, of unbelieving...I'm not really sure. Maybe of thinking to highly of ourselves, of thinking that the move of the spirit somehow revolves around us, that its based on our emotion or something we did or didnt do. Yeah, but Gods not like us, he doesnt change like the shifting shadows, like he lets us take part...he even lets us pray things into being, but if we didnt pray that doesn't effect if God is or isnt or does or doesnt. He isnt intimidated by us. Oh man, I think to highly of myself...I need to become less so he can manifest himself more in me. I see things so dimly, I need clarity.

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 10

Photo 10:

At Sunset

I was walking the cross country trails behind the luce tonight, and the light rays hitting the top of the long grass all around me was really a sight to be seen. The light was soft and it illuminated the small whisps of grass perfectly. It was really beautiful. I took Lexie (The puppy of the house) out for a walk, and it was a really sweet time of soaking and listening and waiting on the lord. I also ran into Paul, a friend and prayer warrior from the college (he now goes to uk) as he was walking their family puppy. Lexie and Sophia (I think that was her name) weren't really sure what to think of each other, but it was such an encouragement to see Paul -he has such a heart for prayer and he's one of those people that you can just see the anointing of God upon. I was just reminded of how blessed I am to still reside in Wilmore. There's so many people here who just love Jesus and it really is a blessing to live here and be a part of such a beautiful community.

The 40 day photo challenge: Day 9

Photo 9:

Jillian

Jillian and I went to the ol' mansion that the President of the seminary is supposed to live in (when there is one) and took some photos. It was a lovely day, a taste of fall, and we pretty much filled up the 4GBs of space on my memory card.

Jillian is a counseling student at the seminary and has a beautiful heart for prayer.

Shes also does these amazing prophetic paintings... I love her.