waiting for the rain

so i just had to add this picture of little wilmore. this is what happens to linden dr. when it rains a lot. usually theres more water pouring out -to the point where you can't really read the words on the sign. its just a physical display of the spiritual atmosphere thats going to be a reality here pretty soon. we wait with great expectation. we're anticipating a great awakening, a holy refinement, a greater annointing, an overflow of his spirit sent to us. let us know; let us press on to know the lord; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth."

"god send your desperation, we wait eagerly for the rain."

awake, awake, put on strength, o wilmore

put on your beautiful garments,

for there shall no more come into you the uncircumcised and the unclean

shake yourself from the dust and arise; be seated, o wilmore

loose the bonds from your neck,

o captive daughter wilmore

how beautiful upon the mountains

are the feet of him who brings good news,

who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness,

who publishes salvation, who says to wimore, "your God reigns"

the voice of your watchmen O asbury -they life up their voice;

together they sing for joy;

for eye to eye they see

the return of the Lord to wilmore.

two.twentyfive

"God break these chains of complacency."

o for the beauty of the lord.

i'm just nameless, and faceless, one who stands in the gap, who is like a channel for the Lord to work through, to release his kingdom into the earth. and what a beautiful release! what a beautiful thing for the lord to take someone like me, and make me into one who stands in the very counsel of the living God, who is able to see him, touch him, hear him, and drink deeply of him. its beautiful, just simply beautiful. he's beautiful.

just simply, beautiful.

time

time is ticking by, what are you going to do with that time?

the bridegroom is coming, are you ready to meet him?

will you even recognize him?

this is probably my favorite photograph i have taken thus far, the beauty of a simple raindrop is astonishing.

dance... dance before the lord.

february eleven, two thousand eight.

its interesting how God often takes you from one extreme to another. i was thinking earlier about how i believed for a few years way back when that prayer didn't matter, that it doesn't change things, isn't important, and shouldn't ever be practiced. now he's got me believing that im a priest who ministers with him to the Father, whose pure and lovely, and whose cries for mercy are answered instantly. if you had asked me 8 or so years ago if i believed that my prayers shift the heavens, bind demons, and mobilize angels, i would have laughed in your face. hah, well look at me now...im an intercessor crazy. as in, if you tell me my prayers don't instantly shift the heavens and that im not a priest who stands beside christ in intercession to the father, i will laugh in your face...and then pray for you of course. God surely looks out for his own. and he's so faithful. always faithful.

Abide in me, and I in you.

As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the

vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.

Jn. fifteen: four.

"abide" wilmore, ky.

...in the whirlwind.

And behold the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, "what are you doing here, Elijah?" He said, "I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsake your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, so take it away." And he said, "Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord." And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong whirlwind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold there came a voice to him and it said, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" ...

...the last few weeks have been filled with words, verses, music, phrases...I've been looking for the fire, the rain, getting caught up in the whirlwind, the earthquake...my mind is unable to shut off, worship pours out of my mouth at all times, but even in this i cannot quiet my heart. my time in ahop is filled with music, good music, music that causes my heart to soar and makes me want to get up and dance. i pray continually, desire for him is continually on my lips. but even though these things appear to be good, have i given him a chance to respond?

Hosea 2:20
I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD.
"In that day I will respond," declares the LORD—"I will respond to the skies, and they will respond to the earth; and the earth will respond to the grain, the new wine and oil, and they will respond to Jezreel...

...have i taken the time to just STOP the music, the words, the sounds, the prayers, the heart-racing, and pacing...and acknowledge him? its so easy for me to go on and on about how i want the fire, the whirlwind, the passion, the desire and never stop and realize that hes already mine, he's already here, all i have to do is acknowledge him...and most likely he's not going to catch me up in a whirlwind, in firestorm, or shake the walls of ahop in a supernatural earthquake. yeah, that'd be great...and one day it'll happen...but im not going to sit around and wait for an encounter like that when i can have the greatest encounter of all just sitting at his feet and listening for him in the silence, waiting for that low whisper to come that will cause to me to tremble and cover my face as it says to me "What are you doing here, Amy?"

"It's our Glory to search him out. And those who seek will find."

be still my soul

lately, ive been learning a lot about silence & solitude...i've been learning that i'm not very obediant, and i'm more likely to not follow God in what he calls me to. i don't want to be offended by him, i want to know his heart and i want my vision to be aligned with his. i want to be pure and i want to call out to him and have him reveal things to me that i do not know (jer. 33:3). im learning that i can be around a crowd of people and still feel alone unless i am spending the time i need in intimacy with the Father. so ive been trying out this whole silence/solitude thing. its been so good. its good to take the pillow out from in front of Jesus' face and silence myself before him, seperating myself from the world and listen to his voice for a change. its good to stand in his counsel. its good to know him. its good to seek him. for he'll be found by those who seek him. i love who he is. i love being silent and alone with him.

"Be still my soul and know he is God."

For God alone my soul waits in silence.

garden

you hedge me in.
with skin.
all around me.
i am a garden enclosed
a locked garden.

well its you and me alone, God.
you and me alone.
so come into your garden.

im no longer my own.
im your garden.
i dont wanna waste my life living on the outside
im gonna live from the inside out. (misty e.)

this is your inheritance, this is my justice.

in pursuit of the holy
the only thing that matters
the veil is torn
the gates lift up their heads
a sound rumbles forth
declaring a holy visitation
divine declaration
humble resignation
of who i am
of who you are
approach steadily the throne of grace
the fire burns with unsurpassable greatness
here is the altar
here is the oil
welcome
approach boldly the throne of grace
stand steadily beside me lifting intercession
this is your inheritance
this is my justice
here in my outstretched hand
claim it beloved
claim that which i bought
the blood on your hands
the blood of the nations
covered by the blood of the lamb
your sins
for my holy sinless broken body
the spirit of adoption
broken forth
you cannot be disinherited
you cannot be disowned
i will not relent
do not relent
in pursuit of the holy
this is your inheritance
this is my justice

christmas

its been a crazy fun blessed family filled christmas day spent with my parents and 5 siblings. i learned a lot. i learned my 11 year old sister is crazy funny and spits out one-liners like its her job. i learned it is entirely possible to put together a 1000 some piece castle thats 2 feet tall in under two hours, my 16 year old sister should be an engineer shes so darn good and designing stuff. and i also just learned that my little 14 year old sister likes screamo-type music. shes amazing. shes so hardcore. i basically want to be her when i grow up. yeah. the end.

oh, and merry christmas.

thoughts on christmas eve

a few weeks back it was 75 degrees in kentucky.

i had a little outing with myself, photographing.

the small river that had been a dry bed all summer was now full

and overflowing its banks because of all the rain we've had.

i was pondering the verse: Isaiah 11:1 (and those following)

"a shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit"

i forget now why i was contemplating this verse, but when i looked closely to the ground

i saw this. it was most beautiful.

here is that river bed that was completely dry all summer long.

and this is what i saw when i looked up.

that shoot came up from the stump of jesse...his name was Jesus.

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him, the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of power, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD and he will delight in the fear of the LORD. He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth. He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth; with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked. Righteousness will be his belt and faithfulness the sash around his waist. Isaiah 11:1-5

read the rest of this chapter. its good.

love.

your love captures my heart. your jealousy amazes me.

it leaves me breathless, yearning for more.

your love is patient.

your love is kind. it ruins me every time.

what can i say to you?

what can i say to you, the one my heart loves?

how do i chase after you. how can i stop chasing after you? you place a crown of pure gold upon my head then you command your loving kindness to chase me down

so i am holding on to love that i cannot see,

but i believe.

its real love. and its somehow got a hold of me.

i don't know what to do with myself. i cannot stop thinking about you.

you somehow got a hold of me.

im ruined. im ruined because of you.

fear

perfect love casts out all fear.

a lot of us are afraid because we don't know the love of our father.

we're afraid of man, because we haven't been gripped

with the reality that man can do nothing to us.

because we haven't been gripped with the reality of

God's perfect love for us.

because we haven't been gripped with reality.

grip us God, with reality.

with the reality of who you are.

of who we are.

in you.

twelve.seventeen.seven.

when i walked by my kitchen a few minutes ago,

i saw a canvas i am working on leaning against the wall where some flowers sit.

the colours are something like this. i am pretty much a fan of these colours.

these are the flowers i am talking about.

they are sitting on my counter right now. except they're
dying a little bit. i think they're more wonderful crumpled and falling
apart now then when i first got them.

twelve.fifteen.seven.

this is an image i had in my photography show recently.

it is a digital image of the photograph so its a pretty bad representation of the original.

i like it though. i think i like it so much because i almost didn't take it.

i often look at things and consider photographing them, but don't.

sometimes when i am quiet and my heart is silenced within me i think upon the lord and inquire of him.

often in these moments the still small voice speaks from within me and shows me something.

sometimes its something related to photography, mostly its not.

i've been learning to listen to this voice, because when i do that sweet life

that only the spirit can give is swept over me, and i am renewed and refreshed.

when that voice speaks to me about photography, it is a beautiful thing indeed.

the majority of my photographs are ones that i woud not have taken,

yet that sweet spirit spoke to me concerning them and i obeyed.

and now they have become visual manifestations of the invisible spirit that dwells within.

i took this when i was out photographying with my dad in leesburg, nj.

i named it paths.

twelve.thirteen.seven.

sometimes there just isn't anything to say.

crannied wall

"O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the crannies of the cliff,

let me see your face,
let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet,

and your face is lovely." Song of Songs 2:14

flower in a crannied wall, i pluck you out of the crannies

i hold you here, root and all, in my hand

little flower but if i could understand

what you are, root and all, and all in all,

i would know what God and man is. -Alfred Lord Tennyson

fire

it seems a lot of homes in tennessee and southern kentucky have large white propane tanks sitting in their front yards. i thought, while driving back from tennesssee this morning, that just about every great action movie includes someone shooting a propane tank, and what an interesting sight it would be to watch one explode. i think i just like fire. good thing im a nice christian girl who keeps her zeal for fire restricted to candles and reading about it in the bible.

what do i want?

what do i want?

i want to find a quiet place in the wilderness, and i want to sit there, seeking out the face of the holy one until he comes and i know his fullness. and then when that happens i will never leave his presence. so basically God its a win win situation. you have me now, you have me later. you have me forever. my attention is yours. my heart and mind are yours. i give them to no other.

12.05.07

hidden

(a photo i found on flickr)

if i know who i am,

i must know who you are,

i am hidden in you

when you say arise, i will rise

when you said wait, i will wait

i will trust your leadership,

your thoughts are perfect, your ways are right

i will cast down these idols, perceptions

from my heart

of who i think i am, you are

i will not be offended

i will embrace all that you have written,

have spoken since the beginning of time,

my heart says yes,

my heart is yours,

forever.

Glory

I once had this dream. I was standing next to this encredible building. It was multiple stories high, was brick and had a bell tower. When I looked at it more closely I realized that it had huge gashes in the brick, and was crumbling and torn. It looked like it had been riddled with bullets, and other explosives. When I looked at the building it was as if I was standing in a black and white movie. The building had no color, nothing that would set it a part from another building. The curtains hung torn and stained out of the windows. The glass was broken out. The building looked like it housed many people at one time, however no one lived in it because it didn't look sturdy. The beds that the people slept in were falling out of the building and everything that once might have been bright and beautiful was now being overtaken by the earth. Vines grew everywhere, and they smothered anything that once looked bright and brilliant. The bell tower was still intact, but the bell itself appeared to be missing. As I looked at this building someone spoke these words to me so powerfully that it awoke me instantly and resounded in my ears and heart, even after waking. "You are no longer an orphanage, I will make you a kingdom."

I had forgotten this dream until today. Can I just say this. As Christians we ARE deserving and worthy of Christ's love, of his grace, mercy, justice, peace, and of fullness. We ARE worthy because he has made us worthy. It's time that we stop living in this mindset that we're just a bunch of orphans adopted by a king who live in some old burned out, beat up building because we deserve no better. We aren't beggars at a table eating scraps off the floor of our King. Yeah, we need to be humble and contrite in spirit, but we needn't beat ourselves over the head with sin and shame that isn't ours to claim anymore. It says in Colossians that we were KILLED and BURRIED with Christ, and now, ours is to live and be raised with him. We are slaves to righteousness, hidden in Christ, the Holy of Holies, we are one with him. As soon as we start realizing that we are Kings and Queens of the Most Holy One the better. Demons tremble at our prayers. They shutter and groan in pain at the sound of our words. The enemy is torn down, the principalities of darkness are destroyed at our command. Do you know that we will judge the Angels? The Most High God himself delights in us and calls us sons and daughters. He rescues us, FOR HIS OWN SAKE, because he freaking likes us a heck of a lot. What is this crap about not being good enough? What is this about not being worthy? We are apostolic messengers and the world fears ones as these. In Jeremiah 2, refering to rebellious Israel, it states "they have exchanged their Glory for worthless idols, and have become worthless themselves." Its interesting to note that Glory is written with a capitol G. Glory, as in the Glory of the Most High God. Glory, not of a little slave boy or girl, but real Glory, the kind that is perfect, the kind that comes from righteousness. As far as I know, we have been made righteous by the blood of the lamb. Therefore we aren't worthless, but we are beings having the imprint of God himself. If we don't believe this, how are we to believe anything? How are we to believe that our prayers even profit? How are we to believe that we will be trusted by God if we do not believe that we are ones that God would even entrust anything to?

Come on. Lets raise up Glorious people of the Most High God. Lets claim this inheritance, lets stand as priests, lets claim this kingdom, lets take it by force.

its been awhile..

sometimes, when i listen to sigur ros i like to listen to the words

in icelandic or whatever it is

and try to replace it with english.

the last few sentences that i came up with are:

"oh tears, oh tears, oh lie,

oh its yous, oh yous, oh lie

you sigh, why?"

somehow i don't think thats what they're saying, i think i'll just let them sing in their language and i'll just listen.

i'm feeling pretty uninspired.

i think i'll go look at some art and then come back.

oh for the beauty of the lord

in kindness you called me in love you allured me in compassion you rescued me in joy you delight in me in peace you calmed me in grace you saved me in prayer you interceed for me in love i chase after you in hope i reach up to you in joy i delight in you in salvation i come to you in prayer i am pulled after you the deep parts of me are burdened after the deep parts of you i am sick with love. father. love. instructor. king. wisdom. spirit. husband.

ruach

sometimes i find myself in a place that inspires me to create. my heart begins to beat a little faster, my breath quickens. my mind expands and the small insignificant thoughts buzzing around in my head fade. a deep cry within me is stirred and my hands itch to somehow recreate what my eyes and mind are processing. my soul shutters within me and a voice awakens that whispers back, "i love you too, lord." a pressure falls upon my heart threatening to break it. suddenly i see the big picture and my tiny significant insignificance in it. i see a flame burning brightly before me, offering justice, mercy, grace, joy, hope, love... i reach to take hold of the torch and hear a silent voice, "divine rights." what does that mean? what are divine rights anyway? did i really hear that, it doesn't make sense. "you have divine rights, claim my justice." the voice silently breathes again. suddenly the life comes, as his ruach is breathed into me, renewing mind, body, soul, spirit. dividing all with an invisible double edged sword. cutting bone from marrow spirit from soul. my mind clears. i see who i am. i create. it is beautiful.


surely the word of the holy one is living and active. sharper than any double-edged sword. when he speaks it penetrates. it divides. it creates. it destroys. it penetrates even to dividing soul from spirit, joint from marrow. it judges the thoughts and meditations of the heart. nothing in all creation is hidden from his sight. everything is uncovered and laid bare before his sight to whom we will give account. hebrew four.

broken.

sometimes for a split second i think i am strong. that i've got life figured out and can walk on my own. and then God reminds me of 50 other areas that i need to work on, that i've completely screwed up. and then i am broken at his feet again. overwhelmed by how horrible i am, and how holy he is. but he is gracious. he is wonderful. he is a gentleman. he answers when i ask. when i say "be real with me, be rough, be mean for once and tell me what i'm doing wrong" he does. he shows me. because then i always screw up big. i fall hard. and he's right there to pick me up. and he's always kind. he is always so freaking kind to me. he is never not kind. he is faithful. and i am a coward. i am a harlot wife. of all sinners, i am the worse. i am dark. yet, he still calls me lovely. i am so self centered. he denied himself. i am so cruel. he is so sweet. i am so fickle. he is steady and always strong. what the hell? why did he give up his throne in heaven to be with someone like me? why can't i accept it already and move on with life. why can't he be my primary focus, my dream, my aspiration, greatest hope and joy. why am i so distracted. will i ever be fully who he created me to be? when does this end. when will i know and understand the fullness of his love. when will i be empowered from on high. when will i stop believing the lies and start believing what you have said. when? for real, God. when?